Hypocrisy

I remember my confusion yesterday
Pulled in either direction
How could you possibly treat me this way
When I was just as responsible
When it was my inability to speak
That started it all
Was it wrong
That someone stood up for me
When you didn’t
You’re right
I shouldn’t give in to people
When I know what they’re up to
But where were you in all of this
Did you see it
Or hear it for what it was
Or did you hear it from someone else
We’re stretched past our limits
This repetition is killing us
My endurance is giving up
My tears give me away
I’m a hypocrite
How can I be in two places at once
Stop hurting yourself
I want to stop allowing myself to feel this hurt
Don’t act like a reckless child
How can you not see past
Whatever this is
What is this
Is it on us now
I’m not crying anymore
But believe me
I’m torn down the middle
Pulled in either direction
But no one’s pulling
No one’s asking for me
I’m left to myself
To find condemnation
In this hypocrisy that is now mine
Lord help me
To stand up for what is right
Even it means
I’ll have to lose people
Oh what do I have to gain from pleasing people
Or being good with everyone
The more I try
The more it falls apart
All these relationships
So toxic
Did they build me?