One of Seven

If you really need an explanation 

Here’s what I still remember 

How I hung my head down in shame before you 

At the mercy of your emotions

You'd shift the blame 

As if you had nothing to do with anything

As if I was always the only one at fault 

You never stood up for me 

You turned me against - 

The only ones who really cared about me 

You spoke behind their back 

You spoke behind mine

All in the name of love? 

Are you happy now? 

Are you still madly in love? 

May you grow old and grey 

With the one that you love

Love her till the end 

Protect and respect her till the end 

But don’t forget the many like her

In this world 

Who deserve just as much -

Honour 

May we learn to honour 

The image of God all around us

Created after His likeness 

Created anew after His likeness 

I hate that my heart often softened 

At the thought of you 

I wanted to believe that you were true 

But all you spoke were lies 

Oh what a show 

The hero of your own story 

Will you swell with rage -

If I held you responsible for your actions? 

But that’s not my place 

You are His 

And He doesn’t condemn you 

So who am I to? 

You were always the first to defend yourself 

Oh the things that you did 

In your fear of the unknown 

Silently 

Oh how you thought of ending it all - 

If nothing goes your way 

Mere talk that only ended in poverty

But you’re still here 

Aren’t you? 

You 

are

still here. 

Look at how far you’ve come

Can we take a moment to appreciate

How far you've come

I won’t undermine your story 

You were growing 

You were being chipped of your comforts 

Did you discover 

That when you’re weak - 

He is strong? 

Father, give me the strength 

To stand 

If and when we are to cross paths when heaven and earth are one 

Because he is as much Yours 

As I am Yours 

We are both Your children 

We both profess of our faith in You 

Forgive us for misrepresenting You 

To the world 

May they only be led to You 

When they see how broken we are

May they only know that there’s a Saviour 

Who doesn’t look away from our brokenness 

One who loves us too much 

Than to leave us where we both are 

The world is to know that we are Yours 

By our love for each other 

But oh we’ve failed You, Lord

I have failed You, Lord 

The friends that we once were 

I chose to address you

Those years that I did 

By your birth name 

Not like the others would 

Not the one that you’d prefer 

And now when I read past your name 

In the story of the sent ones  

Who from among the growing family of God 

Chose seven men of good repute 

Full of the Spirit and of wisdom 

To appoint to the duty to serve 

When I read past your name 

It means nothing to me anymore 

And I suppose it never will 

(2022 edit)