Dumah

We can relate to each other 

We know what it’s like to be blamed 

To be spoken down to 

To be treated as if we weren’t in the room

To be spoken unkindly to 

In tones loud with anger 

And quiet in love 

We’d stay away 

Lest we were a cause for 

Any more anger

Than what we’ve brought upon ourselves 

This is all our fault

Even while knowing we’ve felt it all too 

We can’t seem to share our pain with each other 

Because we’re hurt by the same people -

We’d give ourselves away for 

The same ones we'd give ourselves up for 

This commonality 

Is but a dead end

An ocean of darkness -

We’ve plumbed the depths into 

In the moments we're rendered voiceless 

And need to risk our lives 

For permission  

To seek 

To ask for what we need 

At best we try to keep away 

In the moments of darkness 

When there is no joy in communion 

Or in presence 

But we’ve fell into these depths

At different times 

Oh why didn’t we give each other the same grace

Why did we make a god of our hurt

Of our people 

We let them take away our peace 

We let them treat us 

Like we weren’t worth affection 

Or acceptance 

We were mistaken 

And refused to be forgiven 

We deserved to be punished

Or so they made us feel

We were too afraid to ask them where we went wrong 

We had no idea ourselves 

We quietly accepted the condemnation 

In their hateful eyes 

There were no words 

But their voices screamed 

To the ends 

Of our small worlds

Just you, me and them

And beat us against the walls  

Of our crumbling esteem 

We are nothing 

But what their actions speak 

We are worth being punished 

In the depths and loneliness 

Of disunity 

In the name of authority 

In the name of pride 

We are punished 

In our own heart 

In our own minds 

We're screaming at our own selves

For not being more careful

And we cried 

And we cried 

But not to each other 

To ourselves 

We couldn’t think of how we’d dishonour

Our dear ones 

Our masters 

Why didn’t we turn to the Man of sorrows 

Our Master

The suffering Servant 

Who carried our brokenness

As deep as the pit we found ourselves in 

Why do we wait 

We waited then 

We still wait 

We waited on them to give us permission 

To come into the light 

To welcome us again into their presence 

We couldn’t possibly trespass

The grounds that we used to share with them

Unless we’re sure 

Unless they make it clear 

In their voice

(Will there be more words?)

In their eyes

(Will there be no words?)

Because we’re so terribly misunderstood that way 

Our countenance betrays us 

Our sadness changes our faces

All they see is disrespect 

All they see is defiance

But we’re hurting so much inside