When the Father Came Running

Disowning relations 

I’m learning to be sour 

I’m engaging 

in all things unrelated 

Having some feel sorry for me 

As if I were their daughter 

And allowing some to enslave me 

As if I were entitled to them 

I’m seeing my whole world through a tinted window few layers thick 

They’re waving goodbye to me 

Can they see me?

I want to stop being a burden 

Maybe I should go farther away 

Will it resolve anything? 

My resolve for sure is useless

Hopelessly lust-driven 

Father, please help me trust 

The risen One who made me alive with Him 

When I was still dead in all that I said 

In all that I did 

Almost everything that I thought 

I'm breaking ties 

I'm deleting numbers because I want my mind to heal  

I hope we will never have to see each other again 

Oh paradeisos! 

We'd meet in the new heavens and the new earth  

Because you believe just as I do

Because you are just as loved as I am 

I want to escape out of noisy compartments 

All these conversations 

All these distractions 

I shamelessly vented to positions of authority 

That I was an embodiment of wasted energy and potential

As if they could do something for me 

I trusted them

To change my life of 

Typographical errors

And serving a server  

I have fellow passengers in need of medicine 

I have fellow pilgrims talking about 

Where they’re from 

Where they’re going to 

My feet are cold 

My heart is weak 

From my sin and my doubt 

Father, please wake me up when it’s time to disembark 

This train to a place I wish I didn’t know