Tendencies

I didn't think this through
(Is there a purpose?)
That I had this kind of sadness
Pent up in me 
One wrong move
And I'll have you 
Holding it against me
Perhaps none of us can handle anger
Does that mean we don't have the capability
To let it get the best of us -
To let it handle us?
We don't realize what we become
We don't realize what we are
When we taste anger

I'm living a life 
Of repetition with you 
I'm living a life of 
Unspoken words
I fear for the way you'll react 
I've seen my fear rise
I've felt my heart beat so fast
You can't handle it 

I'm living a life of 
Disregarded conversations
This is a life of death
All this built up pain
Pushing me away from you
Where are you when I need you

I am incapable of speech 
Perhaps that's why you can't 
Hear to a word I say 
Which part of this is difficult?
I'm endlessly adjusting
And I'm moving nowhere
It pains me to
Realize and realize
That I'm no different
I detest conflict but I create it 
I stay away in the name of fear
I question whether 
I'm unconditionally loved
Simply because I go around thinking
You couldn't possibly love me 
The way I love you
I am crying out 
I didn't think
My sadness was immeasurable
I didn't think of my sadness
As dormant
 I don't know if I can trust you
As you go around 
Consenting to be blinded
Your heart lies somewhere else
You have eyes for someone else
Hear to me when I speak 
Hear to yourself when you speak
I can't make sense of the dissonance 
Emptying through your words
We're all talk 
Disrespecting my feelings
Disrespecting your feelings 
All the same
All the same