Hide

My fears 
My hideaway
Facing them pains me 
Facing them is a mistake -
I'm sure of it
Please don't take my heart for granted
I'll soon die if I exert myself with my mind
I'm slowly fading away
In my excuses
Bring me up to my feet Abba
I am not despised
There is forgiveness for my fear
I am not scared to love
I am scared to come
But what is this love
That lives from a distance 
My fear lives close
I suffocate, I cannot think
There is no rationale 
Just a missed idea
That the fear I have for you 
Is more than your love for me
My fear mustn't live closer
Even yet
Despite all my illusions
Despite all my worries
My inadequacies 
That I'm unfailingly reminded of 
You are closer than my fear
Get a hold of me
May I rest in your presence 
If only my fears were silenced
And not the words
That never left my mouth
I am inadequate 
in their eyes Abba
But I am a beautiful girl in Yours
I am strong
A blooming flower
A sunflower that met the light -
And fell in love with it

I am filled with a light 
With a love
That breathes me back to life
Every time a deadening thought
Threatens to lash at me
To leave me with weary eyes

My fears make me feel timid         
My faults 
That I'm unfailingly reminded of
Make me feel timid 
But in Your eyes 
I soar on eagle's wings
Above the clouds
That fill my mind
The beautiful grey ones                   
That get heavier and whisper of a downpour 
But never loose their bonds
Like heavy clouds                     
That hold onto countless drops  
That can fill empty grounds          
Take me with you 
Hold me near 
May I never let my fears
Be closer than You 
May Your love free me of this condemnation 
May your love strengthen this weakness that blinds my eyes 
With fresh tears

I still cry over the things that hurt me 
I hurt my own self
I drink in salt
I taste nothing but hurt
Feed me Your love
Quieten me to speak words of life
To my own self 
To the people around me 
Please hold me
This doesn't have to be about my hurt
There is redemption here
A kind that wins
Every time
Hold me Abba
Forgive me 
I am forever Yours
Though I am a disappointment 
In the eyes of those I love
In the eyes of those
I hope for forgiveness from
Give me the grace to respect
I am far from disappointment 
In the eyes of the One
Who saved my tears for the rain 
So His pain and mine would be one
You wash away my pain 
Under these overcast skies
You illuminate my heart
In the light of the night
Till honesty 
Is all that I'm left with
Till I'm holding onto nothing 
But You 
I arise to a new day 
To ask myself yet again
How did I make it here
I've had a setback 
More than two
But there's something different 
About this hurt that I feel
Why is it as if 
I have no heart for what You want 
for me
Why is it as if
I'm getting past this 
Without a trace of remembrance 
Of who You are 
And what You can and have done for me 
Why did I see myself as alone 
Fighting a repeated battle
I didn't hope for change 
I just fled           
I fled from the wrong things 
I hid away                                       
In the silent places 
I didn't take a step forward 
I only sunk in my fearful pride
I hid away in fear

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