Silently

Why do you hurt me this way 

Why is there no way for me to change

I'm losing here in my mind

I am killing myself

From replaying your words

Why am I always at fault to you
Why am I the only one who needs to change

My hurt is a chasm
I take a step forward to fall

I am moving nowhere

I'm only falling 

I remember what I did to you
I am moved to tears

Every time I think of how I left things

How I was moved by my fear 

I didn't even stop to hope for redemption

My fear was cruel enough

To not give me the heart

To take a step forward

To go to you
And fix things

Why am I so scared of you?

Why do I wait on you 

To tell me that it's okay

Why can't I just come to you 

I'm so scared of you

So scared that I question 

Whether I really am

Loved without condition

By you

My feelings are a chasm

I can't go forward without falling first

I detest the way I feel

I feel so much pain

I never sought to hurt you 

I wouldn't dare

You don't deserve that 

From someone like me 

Nobody deserves that from me

How can you play with me

You're the wiser one 

The older one

Please tell me it's alright

I need that from you

But this silence 

From you

Is causing me to fear even more

Fears like dense clouds

I've allowed to grow

In the sky of my mind

My fear takes my words away

And I learn to scream

I learn to cry

Silently