Alone

I am most capable of anger 

I detest the way

I embrace isolation

But I'm happy like never before

I don't want my joy to be apart from you 

But I want to stay away

There is no comfort in your presence

I can't speak a word

Without you seeing signs of death 

In my demeanor

I apologize if I'm hurting you

But can I stay for a little while longer

You don't need me anyway

I always lose out to someone else with you

Those extended conversations -
They could never make up for the time it took

For those long calls into the night

I am alone 

But I am joyful

I am scared by this loneliness

That is lovingly filling me up on the inside

I am not empty