The Truth

I am a lie 

How can I be real

With my love and my silence

A love sleeping in deed 

A love questionable in truth 

What about my hurt?

I forget every time I cry over you

My missing you knows no end 

I am a fool 

A hopeless lover 

A regretful lover 

My sins have forgiven me 

But I am reminded of 

This hypocrisy that's mine 

In your eyes 

In your actions 

What has happened to us? 

What are you holding onto?

I've hurt you beyond compare

I know

I've been hurt 

But the way I cry over you 

Is like our love knew no hurt 

Like our love knew no brokenness

Or sorrow 

Perhaps this is love 

Keeping no record of wrongs

But will you ever know 

How hard it was for me? 

What happens after that?

After you know?

I'm not sure

That's why I wish  

You'll live the rest of your life in the unknowing 

So you won't have to despair 

And perhaps in the end 

If He could just put in a word

So you'll know how it was for me

Because I'm incapable of speech

But I wasn't born dumb

I was born to fly

To overcome 

Perhaps a day will come

When I do

When you'll know

When I'll cross 

The ocean of unsaid things 

And find you 

And myself 

As we are 

Perhaps this is my story 

Surely this is not it 

I don't know how much longer I can go by Abba 

I'm slowly dying 

In all this condemnation 

Hiding my tears 

In the songs that I sing aloud 

About forgiveness 

And love for me