Mirror

Was your love for me ever true?

From where is your grit

To hate me,

To belittle me?

To shower blame on me,

Like a flood of pain

Throwing me unconscious

Into a torrent of fear,

Of disbelief

What made you this way?

What changed your heart for me?

All the moments we lived

All the moments we –

Lived loved

What about them?

Why do you deceive me,

In ways my heart can -

No longer settle -

At any level of comprehension -

With such confidence in your morality 

With your demeanour 

So defiantly undisturbed 

And you’re justified in twisted ways

And unquestioned

The way you treat me

Like shaken dust off your feet

Walking all over my defeated self

As I lie in all this shed blood

Our warfare sought

This blood reddened

By my shame and guilt

And this sickening blame

That arouses bitterness

In you and me

Was your love for me ever present?

What made you treat me 

The way you did?

Misunderstanding hurt us both

Perhaps

In ways that cannot be spoken

Silence was our deadly weapon

And a mad, mad friend

Of all the misunderstanding

That worsened everything

And doused our quiet love

With the dangerous purpose

Of a hateful fire

That burns down our home

Of our always quiet love

A silence out of fear

Started a fire

That worsened everything

I was too scared to look at you

But in that fearful moment

When our eyes did meet

I managed to see

A mirror

Your fear

Your insecurity

Your hidden person

Like a mirror

I saw me in it

Your eyes

Reflect mine

And everyone that you now

Have come to see

I saw a warped image of me

A false one

I don’t know if I am in denial

But my reflection is upset

And in shock –

Hands reach out

And crash it to the ground

See me differently –

Won’t you?

Stop feeding me lies

And the person I am to you

And have grown to be to myself

Will be the same.

Why won’t the tears

From my pain-filled eyes,

That have seen many things dire, 

Why won't they end?

I am clouded by the tears

This choking, dirty air

Stings my eyes

And forces me to rub them away

To see

Broken shards of glass everywhere

I’m screaming

And crying out in my anger

As I reach out for you

As the mirror of your eyes

Of your heart

Lies on tiled ground

Broken

I didn’t mean to hurt you

I wish I kept you safe

From this world that hurts you

Oh how many people did you meet on the way?

And give to them

Like your heart was to take?

I wish I kept you safe

From this world

That breaks you

That leaves you 

Bitter

I didn’t mean to hurt you

I was so scared

So scared

That I kept away

I want to reach out to you

I want to reach out for you

Am I too late?

Tell me it’s not too late

But here we are

On this tiled ground

Sharp polished shards

Everywhere

My hands are bleeding