Runaway

I want to run away from you

At least for a little while

Our love

Blow after blow

Leaves my heart crushed

And I’m praying here

That I don’t turn bitter 

So I’ll keep away from you

Not because I’m scared –

This time

But simply because I need some time

To forget

Your opinions of me

How you box me in

Neither subject to change

Nor a renewing love

But here I am to you
An insensitive narcissist

Who couldn’t care less about you

Little do you know

How far out you are

How I’m always

Always looking out for you

How my heart overflows

With unseen love

For you

Every time it hurts

Every time you leave me

To break

To fall

May my heart overflow

With this unquestioning forgiveness

May I forget your insensitivity

May I never stop to remember

Your unkind words

Choosing to not remember

May I live loving you

Forever

You are all I have

I can’t lose you in my bitterness

I can’t lose you in my sadness

I’ll only bleed

Tears

Seemingly endless tears

Alone here in these temporary places

I’ll let my heavy sadness

Run its course

I have only you

If only you knew

My heart for you

When it’s my turn to leave

It would be my biggest regret

That would kill me

(I’m sure)

You not knowing

My heart for you

The things I do for you

Without words,

Is it possible?

To make our heartfelt intentions known?

Leaving nothing to unrealistic assumptions

Leaving nothing to our cruel thoughts

To create

Is it possible?

I need time to forget

And so I’ll run away

At least for a little while

Because I’m tired

And I can’t keep taking

Your blow after blow

Where are we now?

How you box me in

Like I have no capacity

To love

But I wish you knew

It’s because I have Love

That I make it through

Do you know what I know?

I have Love

To change me

To comfort me

To pull me through

These temporary places

I don’t want to run away from you

Stop sending me off

Up and running

Every time you

Stab me in my heart

Brutal and quick

A kind of pain that’s sharp

And aging with sadness

A deep, unknown,

Weak sadness

I mustn’t lose you here

I should run for a while

And come back just as soon

I can’t live knowing

I was a runaway

With you

I should come back soon

May the rush of air

As cold as our heartless ways

Make me feel

Feel wholeheartedly

All that there is to feel

And let go

Where are we now?

What is this love?

One an unknowing soul

Another a broken one

Always running we are

You from my true heart

And me from my own self.